would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
