Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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