wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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