too bad you live with your parents still
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
