Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
