listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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