he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
