I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
