I just saw a hot homeless man
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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