VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
