Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
