I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
