We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
