Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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