Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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