I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
