We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
