69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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