She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
