I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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