i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
