Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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