On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I faked an abortion last night.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize