no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
