I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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