i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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