On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
