butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
