We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
