What a fucking waste of an outfit
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
