Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
