protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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