Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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