Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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