I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
