Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize