you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
