I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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