i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
