She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
