I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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