There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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