Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
