Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
