Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
