It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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