I wish life had little blips of pornography
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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