I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
