it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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