office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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