i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
