i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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