Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
