Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
