you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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