I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
