That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize