I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
