Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
