im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
