i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i need some magic done to my vagina
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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