nut hugger
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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