I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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