How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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