I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
